Who Is The Judge?

“Who is the Judge?”

This is a question I find myself asking people often.

When I first stepped into the Family Court system in fall of 2009, I was incredibly naïve. I believed that “in the best interest of the child,” was the guiding light that all Family Court professionals would follow.

In reality, family court is like the wild, wild west. Judges personal opinions and biases play heavily into decisions that are handed down. And the elephant in the room is that judges tend to be highly narcissistic; they have larger egos than most. This is a position of power which is a recipe for disaster when mixed with an inflated ego.

There is also the issue of compassion fatigue, judges become calloused by the issues that they see day in and day out. They see the worst side of humanity- they see people fighting, accusations flying and they struggle to know who is telling the truth (and who is not). They believe that “everyone lies” - which is not true and this mentality is a huge part of the problem.

Who is the Judge?

If I were in Courtroom A presenting my case, I would present it one way. If I were in Courtroom B with the exact same situation and the exact same case, I would present it completely different based on what I know about the particular judge.

Where I live in San Luis Obispo, California, I know which judge I would want if I had an alimony case and I would know which judge I would want if I had very young children. While judges are supposed to remain unbiased, they are not. Their personal opinions and history factors in to their cases and filters into the judgments that they hand out.

So when someone asks me for my opinion on whether their six -month old, breastfeeding baby will be forced into an overnight visit, my first response is, “I don’t know. Who is the judge?”

Children are being murdered because of bad judges - and other incompetent family court professionals. Almost 800 children, to be exact.

We can do better.

We have to do better.

These children are our future.